I wrote this on an airplane 

Today, somewhere high above the Idaho/Washington border I jotted this down…

I’m excited to be Alive today. Amazed by the topography I see as I fly over Idaho and Washington, my home. Excited to see my sister when I land. Happy to be chatting with this woman next to me about skiing. Blessed to talk to the cab driver who’s Dallas drawl reminded me of my dearly cherished and constantly missed Gramma Jo. Encouraged by this cabbie’s kindness as he thanked me for the work I do. It’s easy to get bogged down by the stress, but life is beautiful even when its edges feel extra sharp; even when it hurts. 

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Loving Someone

“Loving someone is a process. Whether that’s God, or that’s another sticky human, it’s a process. The movies will say it’s something different but— no matter how instant that first draw to someone is— love is a building process. It’s doors unlocking. It’s windows breaking. It’s the discovery of new rooms inside of yourself. It’s the dark. And it’s the light. And it’s dark and light all scrambled into one. At the root of it, it’s a slow, trusting, building process that starts with letting someone in.”

-Hannah Brencher http://hannahbrencher.com/2014/06/12/little-thing/

A Better Shape

“Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” 

~Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

I just realized after reading this quote, that I have never been a better Crystal than I am right now in this moment. I’ve recently felt like my life has halted in some respects, like the possibility of happiness is not within my grasp. But really, I’ve never been more prepared to receive happiness, to achieve, to face this world, than right now. All the experiences – especially the most recent revelations –  have given me strength and clarity, along with providing me a good deal of suffering. And who am I to think I will escape suffering in this life? This moment is completely new and full of possibility.

6.14.13

A diary entry I just came across. This is a much needed reminder, I love getting advice from my past writings:

That spark you feel when he looks at you; guess what- you always have that spark. With or without him. Life should always have the potential to feel that exciting, alone or in the company of another.”